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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of offering access, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people likes being on camera, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. Even celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?